i want to be a boy

Today I wish I was a boy

I'm way emotional and not cool b/c of my girlness.. I can actually FEEL it- I mean physically.. boo
It's like one thing doesn't go my way and I wanna freaking cry about it.. BOO.. BOO.. BOOO
For instance- last night, I was retarded and looked at richard's ex's myspace.. Worst decision I could have ever made.. I mean I think that she's way cuter than I am and it depresses the hell out of me so why did i look? B/c for 6 days this month I'm going to be retarded.. and it's b/c this month is worse than normal.. normally I can keep this stuff in check- calm myself down and whatnot- but I feel emotionally on edge the last 2 days.. I hate it. boo
boo to gorgeous ex gf's .. they should all be horribly ugly and yuckie so I don't feel so ugly booooooo..
and I know I know it doesn't matter.. He's with me and yadda yadda yadda.. blah.. I think I'm competitive or something about looks?? lord knows why it matters to me.. boo

Ok I wanna stop thinking about this so let's change the subject
I didn't finish my last blog about how awesome my weekend with my <3 was.. (I think that I have a new nickname for richard- my <3.. I keep calling him that)
sunday was more relaxing and doing nothing except enjoying eachothers company.. We also went and saw Walk the Line.. which is a wonderful couples movie.. haha I can't believe I'm all about the couples movie with my bf.. he liked it too.. : )
then we got food and saw xmas lights!! I really like seeing lights at christmas.. someone had a nightmare before xmas themed one that was the bestest.. we then got some rite aid ice cream bc i was craving it like crazy.. we stopped by his house and watched Family Guy but i had to leave after..
saying goodbye to him can be so hard.. the moment I lose sight of him I start missing him : (.. he's my <3 (no matter how cheesy it is it's freakin TRUE).. I'm thrilled to be able to call him mine and he says I'm the best too.. It's nice.. he's nice.. I miss him..
He might be here tonight.. everyone cross your fingers so he can come!- I'll let ya know if it worked


HOLY CRAP!! it worked!!! he just called me and told me he can come-- hahaha. that was awesome
okay work i guess..
byebye