i want to be a boy

Today I wish I was a boy

I'm way emotional and not cool b/c of my girlness.. I can actually FEEL it- I mean physically.. boo
It's like one thing doesn't go my way and I wanna freaking cry about it.. BOO.. BOO.. BOOO
For instance- last night, I was retarded and looked at richard's ex's myspace.. Worst decision I could have ever made.. I mean I think that she's way cuter than I am and it depresses the hell out of me so why did i look? B/c for 6 days this month I'm going to be retarded.. and it's b/c this month is worse than normal.. normally I can keep this stuff in check- calm myself down and whatnot- but I feel emotionally on edge the last 2 days.. I hate it. boo
boo to gorgeous ex gf's .. they should all be horribly ugly and yuckie so I don't feel so ugly booooooo..
and I know I know it doesn't matter.. He's with me and yadda yadda yadda.. blah.. I think I'm competitive or something about looks?? lord knows why it matters to me.. boo

Ok I wanna stop thinking about this so let's change the subject
I didn't finish my last blog about how awesome my weekend with my <3 was.. (I think that I have a new nickname for richard- my <3.. I keep calling him that)
sunday was more relaxing and doing nothing except enjoying eachothers company.. We also went and saw Walk the Line.. which is a wonderful couples movie.. haha I can't believe I'm all about the couples movie with my bf.. he liked it too.. : )
then we got food and saw xmas lights!! I really like seeing lights at christmas.. someone had a nightmare before xmas themed one that was the bestest.. we then got some rite aid ice cream bc i was craving it like crazy.. we stopped by his house and watched Family Guy but i had to leave after..
saying goodbye to him can be so hard.. the moment I lose sight of him I start missing him : (.. he's my <3 (no matter how cheesy it is it's freakin TRUE).. I'm thrilled to be able to call him mine and he says I'm the best too.. It's nice.. he's nice.. I miss him..
He might be here tonight.. everyone cross your fingers so he can come!- I'll let ya know if it worked


HOLY CRAP!! it worked!!! he just called me and told me he can come-- hahaha. that was awesome
okay work i guess..
byebye

homework BOO

Hello hello

i'm in SAN DIEEGGOOO!! yaaayy..
isn't it funny how you hate a place, then you leave it and it's the only place you wanna be? Yea that always happens to me.. no fair. hahaha
where to begin? hmm
i arrived at richards house around 1130 on friday. i was exhausted because I had been up since 7am but it kind of didn't matter b/c i was excited to see him. I talked to him about half the time i was driving- it makes the time go by faster. It also made for some great entertainment (aluminium foil and all ) My stomach was being a bitch and hurt but, again, i pretty much forgot about it as soon as i saw him standing in the driveway- wearing his jammies, waving. cutie : ) I was a bit hungry. richard made himself an egg sandwhich. I asked for french toast then learned that he didn't know how to make it. It was a night full of learning haha
dark crystal is an amazing movie right? yea, we thought so too. So we decided to watch that and cuddled on the couch. I passed out within the first half hour and somehow made it to his bedroom later that night (i actually don't recall how i got there but that's where i woke up.)
The two of us awoke around 7 the next morning at which point I decided it was a great time to make the cookies i had brought for cara and richard. Chocolate chip peanut butter- what a delicious way to start the morning. At around 830 all the cookies were cooling and we decided that getting up at 7am wasn't the best of ideas so we headed back to bed.
We rolled ourselves out of bed again at 10ish, realized we were hungry and then agreed carne asada fries (minus the carne asada) sounded tantilizing. Richard called to place an order in and i swear he was talking as loud and his little vocal cords would allow :)
We picked up the fried, headed home and we scarfed them down in matter of moments- well richard did more scarfing than I b/c I'm actually the worlds slowest eater but i was still full.
I called cara to see when she wanted to eat- we had a date for Mama Testa's YUM.
Some other crap happened then we went to cara's haha.. we really left or cara's twice- once a half an hor ealry b/c i can't read a clock.. since i'm clock retarded richard got to go check the mail with the extra time we had. he got card # 5.. i have to give myself mad props for my card idea (sending him a card a day for the week leading up to his bday) he seems to really enjoy it. my cards are placed up around his room.
Lunch with cara ws both delicious and FUN haha. we also exchanged gifts. i got cutie underware and lip gloss that tastes yummy AND a new desert cook book! it was great : )
hmm the best part of lunch (well BESIDES the food) was cara's comment that everything was "FANTASTIC" haha.. that one'll linger for awhile. the three of us were STUFFED after lunch- by the way, cara and i both had the guaco tacos which are heavenly- and decided we needed to walk around for a minute. I run into an old GAP buddy while we were walking.. that was akwardly nice haha
Cara had more studying to do so we dropped her off and headed back home. richard studied some then we both got ready for Lora's party.
Lora's party was soo much fun.. We played scene it and trivial pursuit and just laughed it up..
( if you can't tell i'm wrapping it up and leaving out details now b/c i've typed too much and my hands'll hurt soon- the weekend is their break time)
i'll talk more about Lora's later.. but here are some phases to remember- UFO/plane guy, the poor kitty, 17 cameras, yelling out answers that are wrong, yummy deserts : )
k i'ma go see my honey now
it's been like an hour and i miss him haha :)
byebye

just a quick

I GET TO SEE MY BABY TODAY!!


I haven't seen richard in three weeks and today I'm driving down to see him!!

Im too excited and I've missed him sooo much..
oh man today has been long and I need to make it go faster so i can see my baby!!

MUAH BABY
I'M COOOMMIN'
: )

update

I haven't updated on here in 2 weeks.. i'm lagging..
we had a new girl move in last week and while im happy to have her there, figuring out rent and actaully getting paid was a little stressful. well more than a little stressful.. I was worrying myself into a hole.. : P
Now i've been paid and i am completely financially stable for the next month.. It's nice...
the past two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion. Up one day down the next... Just when i think a problem was solved it would show it's ugly head again and freak me out.. to top it all off i haven't seen my cutie in about 2 weeks and i miss him SO MUCH.. We've been talking a lot which is great b/c i need it. I'm pretty much one of the neediest gf's and that's why it's hard for me to do the distance thing.. but he's really great and hasn't minded the fact that i call 3 or 4 times a day wanting to talk.
I think over the next week i should try to cut the calls a little b/c i know he's crazy busy with school.. i like leaving messages for him too tho.. not in a stalker way but to give him something cutie to listen to when he gets the chance..
On a happy note- i've gotten x mas shopping done for Angela, my Mom, Julie and i'm 1/2 way does with Richards bday/xmas gift (planning on getting the other half tonight).. all I have left is John and Cara I think. I'm starting to think what i'm getting for Richard might be dumb but i know he'll at least fake that he likes it.. wait no- i need to remind myself this guy gets happy when he gets socks. hahahha.. hopefully my thoughfulness will work
speaking of which.. richards family decided against his bday dinner breakfast, whatever the hell it was and i got them little holiday gift baskets. they're going to be out of town- spur of the moment decision i guess. SUCKS hardcore to me..
i think i'll write some positive things now b/c not everything in my life is going down hill.. i'm just in a pissy mood so it seems that way.. many good things have been happening actually..
let's seeee..
the absolute best thing is that richard and i have booked a vacation together!! we're going up north to see SF and monterey.. : ) it's going to be awesome.. i ended up finding a fabulous deal on a cutie hotel with a stage coach infront of it and everything.. it's just going to be great.. i can feel it
tthhhheeenn
a big part of my work responsibility may be shifted to someone else.. that will be so nice..

oh yea since richards parents aren't going to be in town for that weekend it means that i'll be at richards that entire weekend instead of just a day.. (his parents dont like people staying there and boy i can't WAIT till he moves out)
hmmmm
I put up my x mas Tree!! Decorating for any holiday is fun

i'm going to get my parents xmas tree tonight after i buy richards present.. i think i know what i'm getting for everyone now.. cara's getting _______ (i'm not going to say b/c lord knows she'll read it hahaha) then John.. well i'm thinking of getting him and REI giftcard for 50 bucks.. i know it probably won't buy much but 50 bucks is a good discount on whatever expensive thing he wants..
phew.. i have a lot to do at work..
s'pose i should do it then
as always
muah to my baby.. only a week till i see you and i can't wait muah

PS
i put the pic of the cats for 2 reasons 1) it reminds me of richard (he actually wants a cat!! yay yaaayy you don't know how happy that makes me) and is cute and 2) last night i went to Petco and saw THE cutest kittens ever (one looked soo much like jessie) and it made me want a kitty again.. i haven't wanted a kitty since mine passed.. it was new and great.